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FAQ

Who are Baby Boomers?

The United States Census Bureau considers a baby boomer to be someone born during the birth boom between 1946 and 1964. Seventy-six million American children were born between those years.

Many analysts now believe that two distinct cultural generations were born during this Baby Boom; the older generation is often called the Baby Boom Generation and the younger generation is often called Generation Jones. The term is sometimes used in a cultural context, and sometimes used to describe someone who was born during the post-WWII Baby Boom.

In general, Baby Boomers are associated with rejection or redefinition of traditional values. In Europe and North America, Boomers are widely associated with privilege, as many grew up in a time of affluence. As a group, they were the healthiest and wealthiest generation of that time. Baby Boomers were also amongst the first to grow up genuinely expecting the world to improve with time.

The Baby Boom has been described by some as a “shockwave”. By the sheer force of its numbers, the Boomers created a demographic bulge, which remodeled society.
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How are Baby Boomers different from middle-aged people of previous generations?

In previous generations people in their 50s and definitely in their 60’s felt old, believed they were old and acted as an “old person”. Baby Boomers in general have refused this idea of being old at 50 and have a more difficult time accepting the physical signs of aging because they still feel young inside. Because of the greater awareness of nutrients, supplements, and medical breakthroughs they mange to look and feel younger.
The Internet offers information and the ability to connect with each other in ways that makes them feel part of a powerful community.

The younger Baby Boomers in Midlife are dealing with the difficulty of Empty Nest Syndrome and Midlife crisis, both of which are sometimes messy, but definitely life transforming.
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What is Midlife?

Midlife is usually defined as the period between 40 and 60. This is the time in which you are confronted with your own mortality. Most people think they are going to live to around eighty and they realize that half of their life is over. They are confronted with new experiences such as friends getting sick or dying, their own health problems worsening, new mental and emotional states and children leaving home. This can be a very traumatic, trying period for many people.
The psychologist Carl Jung was the first to identify Midlife and called it a normal part of ‘maturing’. However, often Midlife can feel very uncomfortable, especially if you are not aware of the physical and emotional effects that Midlife can bring with it. Often a Midlife crisis might require professional help.

Midlife is experienced differently by different personality types and by different cultures. In Japanese and Indian cultures, some studies have found that there is little evidence that people undergo Midlife crises. That raises the question of whether a Midlife crisis is mainly a cultural construct. The authors of these studies hypothesized that the “culture of youth” in Western societies accounts for the frequency of the Midlife crisis concept there.

Besides challenging physical and emotional changes, Midlife is marked by an internal process of maturing and a shift toward deeper, non-material values. Some feel the need to contribute their wisdom as a legacy trough writing, teaching, volunteering, and counseling. Many people in Midlife feel a deepening of love toward one’s spouse and extended family.
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What is a Midlife Crisis?

Midlife crisis is a term used to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the “middle years” of life. This comes as a result of witnessing the passing of your youth and the imminence of old age. Sometimes events such as the death of your parents, your children leaving home, or the physical and emotional side effects of menopause and andropause (male menopause) can trigger such a crisis.

You may feel a driving desire to make significant changes in core aspects of your day-to-day life or situation. You may seek these changes in your career, marriage, or romantic relationships, and in the way you treat your body.

Part of the crisis can be unhappiness with a lifestyle that you thought would provide you with happiness. You may question the choices you have made in your live. You may feel disappointed that you did not choose your life’s desire as a career. You may have anger at your spouse and blame them for feeling tied down. You may even doubt that you ever loved them. Because your children are grown you may no longer feel valued by society.

If you don’t understand the process of Midlife you may find yourself making poor or irrational decisions that you might regret later on. Instead of seeking counseling or come to workshop like mine –to help you clearly evaluate if your current situation can be salvaged or changed you may prematurely end your marriage or career and regret it later.
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What is Empty Nest Syndrome?

Empty Nest Syndrome is defined as the emotional and mental anguish that can come after your children leave the house. Much of your identity may have been wrapped up as a parent to your children. When your children leave you have a feeling of emptiness and uselessness. Many empty nesters have symptoms of unexplainable fatigue.

This may be a form of depression. In my workshop I will show you some causes and give you some tools to deal with the Midlife crisis and Empty Nest Syndrome. This workshop can help you in taking stock of yourself and bringing your assets into alignment. You can then choose to regain that which you thought were lost forever: your energy and passion for life.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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What are the Problems and Challenges Men can Experience in Midlife?

In Midlife hormonal changes can cause men to produce less testosterone and increase the production of estrogen. Testosterone is a hormone that has a host of benefits, from better muscle tone and a more efficient metabolism to a higher sex drive.

Problems with sugar metabolism combined with a sedentary lifestyle may lead to diabetes. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is very common with diabetic men. Obesity compounds the problem, often because of the associated high blood pressure.

Losing muscle tone and putting on weight can aggravate your sexual virility, which can create sexual anxiety. With sexual impotency men also tend to lose self-esteem.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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How Do Hormonal Changes Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

A lower production of testosterone can, in turn, lower desire and erections may not be as hard as before. I suggest that men over 50 get their testosterone levels tested. Be sure that you find a physician that understands the difference between free and bound testosterone. The bound testosterone is not sexually useful and can cause hair loss.

There are some studies that show that some herbs can contribute to freeing the bound testosterone in the body (saw palmetto may be one of them). Other studies have found that patches or bio-identical hormone creams that doctors prescribe may help. Either way, blood tests of all hormones are useful because of the complex interactions that occur in the body.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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How does Viagra help?

Viagra (sildenafil) helps produce an erection by dilating the blood vessels and increasing the blood flow in the penis. During normal sexual stimulation, a compound called nitrous oxide (NO) is released in the penis that causes relaxation of the smooth muscle in the walls of blood vessels. As a consequence of this relaxation, the vessels dilate and blood flow into the shaft of the penis increases, resulting in an erection. Viagra mimics the stimulation effect of NO thus helping men achieve and retain their erection.
However, in some cases Viagra may have serious side effects so make sure you consult your physician before using it.

Viagra can help you have intercourse without the interruptions that ED causes. Having a strong and steady erection can give you assurance and self-esteem as a potent lover that you can give your partner the amount of stimulation she desires.

Viagra has given men the ability to revamp their maleness, at least chemically. It is helpful to get more blood in the penis and thus make erections happen when you are turned on. However, if you are not turned on Viagra might not help.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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What is the downside of Viagra?

There is a danger for you to become dependant on Viagra and to ignore healing the underlying causes of Erectile Dysfunction, such as obesity and diabetes. If you want to take Viagra you need to make sure you tell your doctor about the medicines that you are already taking so he or she can evaluate if Viagra could be dangerous. There may also be minor side effects like headaches and flushing.

Another downside of taking Viagra may be that you become too enthusiastic about intercourse and neglect the romance and the foreplay that your lover was used to and probably is still longing for.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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I am overweight and I have ED. Would Viagra help?

Yes, Viagra can help when you are overweight and have Erectile Dysfunction. However, even if your doctor thinks Viagra is safe for you and you decide to take it, keep in mind that being overweight stresses your body. To be a great lover, you need a strong and healthy body.

By following a healthy nutrition and exercise program you can reduce your weight and enjoy your body more. Your blood will flow more easily, you will have more stamina, more energy to make love longer and you’ll be able to do exciting positions. Your lover will enjoy making love with you more often.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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How can I deal with my diminished sexual energy?

There are biological reasons for diminished sexual energy in Midlife. The body produces less testosterone, the hormone that drives sexual energy. Psychologically accepting this fact of life helps. Knowing that there is nothing wrong with you personally can be a great relief.

Of course, you can increase your sexual energy by exercising moderately, eating well and taking supplements.

You should talk to your wife or partner and let her know how you feel. You can perhaps even discuss ways she can help you get turned-on by exploring new sexual avenues. (see my article on Re-kindling Sexual Desire) .

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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What is Erectile Dysfunction?

Erectile Dysfunction is more common than you might think. More than half of all men over 40 have some difficulty getting and maintaining an erection.

Erectile Dysfunction is frequently referred to as ED. Erectile Dysfunction is when a man has problems getting or maintaining an erection long enough for satisfying sexual intercourse. Erectile Dysfunction happens when not enough blood flows to the penis.

Erectile Dysfunction isn’t the same for all men. Some men aren’t able to get an erection at all. Others can get one, but it’s not hard enough for satisfying sex. And others get a hard erection but lose it before or during intercourse.

Some recent studies show that Erectile Dysfunction can be caused by psychological/emotional issues that have not been addressed, such as low sexual self-esteem, doubts about your relationship, and hidden pent up anger.

Erectile dysfunction can be exacerbated when men who sometimes cannot achieve erection then become fixated that they will never achieve one easily, and their anxiety creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. In many cases, Erectile Dysfunction is a medical condition.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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My husband uses Viagra and I miss the best part of our lovemaking: the foreplay – Can your workshop help us?

Yes, it can. Viagra is a mixed blessing and with some knowledge you can make it a plus in your lives.

My workshop will teach you both relaxation techniques to help you be more present in your bodies, different approaches to lovemaking and new ways to connect intimately with each other – all of which will benefit you both immensely.

Your husband can learn different ways to enjoy making love with you. Men can have a sexually fulfilling life without taking Viagra. You might even be able to enjoy more than one orgasm with him. My workshop will show you how to create a real win/win situation.

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How is sex important to my health?

Having good sex is incredibly important to your health. There is a long list of benefits derived by good sex that are recognized by medical doctors.
The top five are:
• Improved circulation with obvious health and beauty benefits (fewer wrinkles!)
• Lowered stress levels, thanks to hormones that are released during sex
• Improved and deeper sleep
• Improved mental attitude
• Better digestion
• Stronger immune system

One the most important benefits is the health of your emotional heart. Being sexually fulfilled makes you more relaxed and happier. When you are happier you are usually healthier as well.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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What can I do for Sexual Anxiety?

Sexual anxiety comes from low self-esteem as a lover or fear of losing your sexual potency. It can be triggered when you start a new relationship with a woman that you imagine has more sexual experience than you and the worry that you might not be able to fulfill her sexual needs.

You can deal with it by talking to a therapist or a counselor and usually it will take time to understand to get to the bottom of the issue. I work a lot with this issue. The process is quickened with many of my clients, because I use a special combination of psychotherapy, powerful breathing techniques and Tantra.

If you want to solve the problem yourself, meditation might help. Meditation has been proven to reduce high blood pressure, stress in general, and give a healthier attitude toward life. With less stress and a healthier attitude you can reduce your sexual anxiety drastically. You can also try practicing the Ocean Breath, a powerful breathing technique which is very relaxing and revealing at the same time.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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Can meditation help with sex?

Yes, meditation can help because it creates a state of relaxation, and when you are relaxed, you have better sex. Meditation is a mind/body exercise to reach a calm state where you can see clearly and find solutions to problems easier. The first step of Meditation has to do with concentration on one single object bringing your mind back to that object when it wonders. You can practice keeping your focus longer on that single object. Then you can use this new method to focus on the pleasure.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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How Can I Help My Husband Get Rid Of Urinary Incontinence?

Research shows that urinary incontinence is not necessarily a consequence of aging. In fact, according to a report on Urinary Incontinence published in U.S. News and World Report, it can be caused by medications, urinary tract infections, and especially by weak pelvic floor muscles also called Kegel or pubocoxygeal (PC muscles).

The pubocoxygeal muscles control urination and also ejaculation. You can encourage your husband to exercise these muscles by contracting and releasing these muscles frequently. You can seduce him into doing these exercises by informing him that stronger pubocoxygeal (or PC) muscles will improve his virility. These muscles are also called love muscles. You might want to join him doing the PC exercises; it can be arousing doing it together. These exercises will strengthen you own PC muscles as well.  Stronger PC muscles intensify your pleasure and will increase circulation in your genitals, keeping them healthier.

You can also help your husband by encouraging him to avoid caffeine, alcohol, and acidic foods that usually irritate the bladder linings. (But the love muscle exercises might be much more fun for both of you.)

For more information on incontinence, see these articles:

  • “Muscle and Bladder Training Ameliorate Urinary Incontinence; Other Remedies Don’t Do As Well” – Medical News Today
  • “Behavioral vs. Drug Treatment for Urge Urinary Incontinence in Older Women” – Journal of the American Medical Association
  • “Controlling Urinary Incontinence” – FDA Consumer
  • “Urinary Incontinence” – MedlinePlus
  • “Urinary Incontinence” – Mayo Clinic

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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How does a couple that has been married for 20 years rekindle sexual desire?

It really depends on the state of your relationship. Sometimes the relationship might not be salvageable and if you have major doubts about it consulting a good counselor might be very helpful.
However, if you both have the desire to re-kindle passion there is lots that you can do. To start with, you can set up times when you talk about emotional needs you might not have expressed before. If you have not made love for many years you might have to start by re-connecting in a sensuous, non-sexual way to build up the passion. If you feel ready a Tantra coaching session may be extremely valuable. (read my article on Rekindling Sexual Desire)
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What To Do To Add Fire To Our Connection?

There are varied psychotherapeutic and tantric approaches that are very simple and yet can make an enormous difference in your life. Even spending a couple of minutes silently looking into each other’s eyes can bring up emotions that might bring you closer.

Pay attention to your partner and praise him for anything you like about him. This builds renewed trust and adds fire to your connection.

Taking good care of yourself is important when you want to spice up your love life. When you take care of yourself you increase your own feelings of sexiness, will be in a better mood, and therefore have more to offer your lover.

Surprising each other with notes and unexpected gifts outside the traditional holidays can help fan the fire of your connection and greatly improve your sex life.

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Does Sex Help Longevity?

Definitely having a good sex life is a very important factor to living a long, healthy life.
When you have sex you breathe more deeply, which gives you more energy and brings life giving oxygen to your body. During sex your circulation is improved and brings full nourishment into all the cells, which increases aliveness and youthfulness. The flow of hormones that produce connection (oxytocin) and endorphins, which produce happiness, flood your system and release stress. Passionate, loving, connected sex IS one secret to a longer life!

Studies show that if you breathe better, your circulation is strengthened, you have less stress, are happier, and you will live longer.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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What physical exercises should a couple do to enhance their sex life?

I  recommend you  do the following exercises to enhance your sex life:

  • Exercise your love muscles (also called PC or Kegel muscles) to strengthen and bring circulation to your sexual organs and to increase sexual pleasure.
  • Do some stretching (yoga is good) especially to have a flexible back.
  • Do some sexual practice every day (kissing, spooning, sensuous massage of at least one part of the body). This enhances both your sex and emotional connection with each other.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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Is Tantra just about Sex?

Tantra isn’t just about sex, although it is the most comprehensive study on sexuality there is. It is also considered a path to enlightenment! It is said that Tantra is the fastest way to enlightenment, because it teaches you to use sexual energy as the fuel to burn away your negative attachments that tend to make your life burdensome.

Tantra is about developing a stronger mind focus (meditation), about breathing consciously, about honest communication and letting go of guilt and shame around sex. The feeling you have when you have an orgasm gives you a glimpse of enlightenment.
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Some people say that Tantra is the dark side of Yoga. Is that true?

Hatha Yoga is about balancing male and female energy and making the body a healthy and flexible container to inhabit the spirit. It is about controlling the breath and the body to achieve mental power, strength and flexibility.

Tantra Yoga includes and goes beyond Hatha Yoga. Tantra helps you to unblock possible stagnant energy and integrate it in your whole system before you start moving or controlling sexual energy. Tantra goes beyond yoga to deal with life more completely. In fact, Tantra includes the dark side of our physical nature and gives instructions on how to accept the shadow side and transform it into additional pure energy that can flow positively throughout your whole body and can be transmitted to our lover.

Besides making the body elastic and the mind able to focus for longer and longer periods, it also prepares the body for expansion of sexual energy and teaches how to interweave all the energies in and around you into an orgasmic whole. In other words, it trains you to be present in your body and decide where to move the energy to in order to achieve complete fulfillment that expands love and propels you toward enlightenment.

Tantra gives clear instructions on how to become better lovers AND better people.
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Tantra sounds weird.

It may sound weird because when we think of sex we usually do not associate it with religion or even philosophy. Tantra may sound like a religion but is not a religion. It is a spiritual philosophy that teaches us to use all the energies we have – mental, physical, emotional and sexual – to understand and live our lives better and be happier.

Tantra is an art and a science that shows how to live fully in the present and use sexual energy to expand awareness and love.

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Is Booming Relationships a Tantra workshop?

No. In this workshop, you will learn exercises that are based on Tantric principles, but if you want to learn Tantra itself please go to my website and check out my ‘Intro to Tantra’ workshop. Booming Relationships is NOT a Tantra workshop.

In Booming Relationships. I will teach some down to earth approaches that will be immediately helpful in your life. You will understand yourself and your partner better, and you will have much more energy available for fun.
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My husband is using Viagra because of ED. I don’t know if it’s good. How can your workshop help me?

Many women have the same question. The workshop can help you in several ways. In my workshop, both of you will get a deeper understanding of ED as well as the benefits and dangers of using Viagra.

You will also learn many enjoyable ways to reach complete satisfaction without taking Viagra. Your husband will realize that longer foreplay and more romance will bring the quality of your lovemaking to a higher level of satisfaction that includes the emotional as well as the physical and the spiritual.

In this workshop we will also discuss safe ways that may restore your husband’s potency without medication, safely, over time.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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My husband has high blood pressure and diabetes type II and he is taking medication. Can your workshop help?

Yes, you will learn to understand diabetes, which is actually the most common cause of impotence in men. In fact diabetes can, over time, damage the peripheral, autonomic, and cranial nerves. As you probably know, high blood glucose can damage nerves, which may stop sending messages to his penis.

In the workshop, we will discuss exercises, breathing techniques, and nutritional basics that can keep your blood glucose as close to normal as you can, as well as look at other approaches that overtime may overcome the damages created by diabetes and restore you back to health. You may again experience both the sweetness and the hotness of life.

You will learn that your husband may be able to use Viagra for ED if his doctor says it’s safe, while he is recovering his basic health as well as his potency.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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My husband is addicted to TV. Can your workshop help him get rid of this addiction?

In my Booming Relationships workshop we will cover several techniques that have proven to work for many men because they are inspiring and exciting instead of confrontational. There are techniques I can show you that will entice him to take action. But your husband must also have interest in changing his lifestyle. My workshop offers both partners ways to spice up their everyday life as well as their love life.
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My wife is seriously overweight. Will your workshop help her shed the weight?

In my workshop we will cover several techniques that are proven to work for many women because they are supportive and inspiring instead of confrontational. My experience as a psychotherapist shows that using a communication style she can listen to without feeling put down or subtly offended really works. You will learn that style in the workshop.

Being overweight can have a number of physical, emotional and/ or mental causes. My workshop will help you figure out what your next step may be.

This educational information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem. You should always consult your licensed health care provider before making significant changes to your diet and/or exercise regime or taking any form of prescription medication, supplement or alternative remedy.
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I don’t understand what romance means to a woman. At 55 I still don’t know the difference between romantic and corny. Can I learn it in your workshop?

Women are a mystery even to themselves at times. Romance can’t be put into a formula. It is different for everyone, and it can be different at different times of life. I do understand how difficult it is for men to figure it out.

In my workshop I will tell you the secret to being genuinely romantic. We will discuss women’s favorite romantic approaches in the workshop. A real romantic approach works so well your wife will initiate the lovemaking. You will understand how much being romantic means to a woman and how easy it is to fulfill this deep desire she has. You will be amazed at how much being romantic will contribute to your sex life.

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We used to be so hot. And now… we’ve had practically NO sex for 5 years. Do you think our relationship is dead? Will your workshop teach me how to rekindle it?

Losing the fire is a more common occurrence than you might imagine. You can lose the fire when you get caught up with career and children, and are too tired to make time for each other. Furthermore, people may fall into patterns depending on their backgrounds.

You will learn techniques that have helped many couples get their passion back. These practices will open your mind and your heart as well as your sexuality. The communication techniques that I teach will reach the heart of your partner no matter how long you have not been able to do so.
Once you open your heart things can start to shift toward enthusiasm and fantastic sexual expression.
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We have been married for 20 Years and our sex life has flattened out. Does your workshop teach us how to re-awaken the spontaneity in lovemaking?

In my workshop this topic will be covered at great length. I will present techniques on how to uncover your ability to be spontaneous. You knew how to be spontaneous when you were a baby and you still have that ability in you. That ability never dies, it’s just dormant. With your re-awakened spontaneity you can reignite both passion for life, in general, and passion for awesome lovemaking.

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All content owned by Carla Tara © 2009. www.carlatara.com. All rights reserved.

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